Tired of Bullies picking on you? Fed up with the co-workers stepping on you for their own corporate gains? Exhausted from continuously having to place one foot in front of the other in order to walk? Then you’re in luck! Today, and today only, we offer you Pet Emo. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. Bullies? It eats them! Co-workers? It eats them! Tired of walking? It carries you!
And if you order now, we’ll throw in some toe lint (or as we call it, Sock Meat), for free! Your pet Emo will play for hours with it’s toe lint, while you wait for bullies, co-workers, and the inability to walk. You can get all of this now, for just $1999.99 and your first born. (Well behaved first borns only)
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